I know you never planned to have anyone but yourself take care of you and mom. You have been a strong, brave, wise, gentle, and generous man all my life.
You have put the needs of your family in the forefront of your hard work. You have planned and planned and planned again for your future.
You have done everything right.
You did not plan mom's stroke, nor your Alzheimer's. Try as you may, there are things that cannot be changed.
After her stroke left her unable to do most things herself, you cared for mom for three years all by yourself. It is time to allow others to do that now, and I know how hard that is for you.
You struggled that I would go to the doctor with you - after-all, YOU once drove with me on your lap to the emergency room with a chicken bone stuck in my throat. Things are different now - only slightly. I HAD to go because you don't remember things, and Del (brother-in-charge) doesn't hear well. Remember at lunch? I explained one more time that you don't remember things too well, and Del doesn't hear well. We were talking about the soup of the day right after this conversation: and you asked Del "What kind is it?" and he replied "11:45". Yes - true story! We laughed. Please keep laughing.
I admire you so much for graciously accepting the doctor's diagnosis like the true hero you have always been to me. After way too long waiting to get a blood draw, we came home slightly exhausted and had a glass of wine. Life is STILL good and we can still celebrate life..
I want you to know, believe and embrace - that you will never ever be a burden to any of us. WE were the burden - raising FIVE strong-willed Vanderhoff children had to have been the hugest burden of history! (We won't even go there at this letter)
Knowing how strong, proud and stubborn you are - makes it even more difficult for you to allow us to help. Having been raised in a loving family, always knowing I was safe with you and that you would do anything to ensure my well being, I lovingly and openly commit to caring for you when you become unable to.
It is a PLEASURE and complete HONOR that you would allow me to do ANYTHING for you. Please bury this deep in your heart and hold it close at all times - I love you and want to help in any way that I can. To deny that is to deny my love for you.
I ask just one thing if it be possible - please do not lose the ability to laugh at my jokes. Please?
I love you Dad ~ so much.
3 comments:
Priceless words from your heart to his, and hers and ours! Life is all about change...changing responsibilities, changing places, transfers of trust and security. As God turns our water into wine HE saves the best til last...when we see him face to face, no longer through the glass lit dimly. Love you for capturing this change on your blog. (But why do I feel as though you are still rebelling against my authority by wearing that sweater? Just Kidding. Love it on YOU. Love the YOU in it!)
Sister Sue
Lovely, Joann! Just keep this letter handy, your Dad will have to read it over and over! Love the story about him and Del, lol! You are all in our hearts, we're here for you! Love, Cheryl
love your letter joann,you are one special child of ours, God did a great job for us. love you lots will see that he reads it often.
mom
Post a Comment